Strengthen Your Relationship With These Conversations

Meeting what seems like the right person and making plans for a future together can be a heady experience. Unfortunately, this can also lead to people overlooking differences that could eventually threaten their stability.

Couples who are considering taking their relationship to the next level and marrying or moving in together should discuss several things beforehand. Such issues as money, kids and the kind of lifestyle each person wants to lead may seem minor in the early days, but these can be major stumbling blocks over the long run.

It may not be possible to resolve every issue, but talking calmly about them ahead of time could help couples understand one another better and might lay the groundwork for a long and healthy relationship.

Finances

Money is a common cause of discord in relationships. This is not necessarily because one person is irresponsible with money or because there is not enough but simply because the two people may have radically different ideas about how to manage it.

This conversation should include a discussion about future financial goals and savings as well as debt. This could be a prompt to look at whether a greater effort to pay off debt is appropriate or if it could be reorganized in some way.

For example, many people are paying off multiple student loans that have varying rates and term lengths. They may want to consider looking into a student loan consolidation to see what options are available. This would combine accounts into a single payment with one interest rate.

Couples should also discuss whether they are spenders or savers, how they will each pay for bills and whether they will have joint or separate accounts.

Children

Couples need to talk about whether they want to have children and when before they enter into a more serious relationship. Many people prioritize having a family, but children can put a serious strain on a relationship as well, and if both people are not fully invested in parenthood, this could damage or even destroy the relationship.

Furthermore, while compromise is possible for some issues in long-term relationships, it may be difficult or impossible to resolve a conflict in which one person wants children and the other does not. If the couple both want children, they should also discuss details, such as how many they want and who will be the primary caregiver.

Lifestyle

One person wants to live in the country while the other longs for the bright lights of the city. One enjoys a busy social life, and one prefers to stay home, reading, cooking and watching movies. One person is devoted to eating right and exercising, but the other can’t live without a weekly fast-food fix.

Couples do not have to agree on everything or live in the exact same way, but they need to know where their incompatibilities lie and whether they can compromise on them. Having different hobbies may not be a dealbreaker, but if one person wants to travel the world and the other never wants to live the town they were born in, the relationship might not last.